1 Year Post-op Visit with the Doc and other random thoughts....

So I have several things to talk about here.....


First, even though I was hopeful that I might get to goal weight by my birthday or even by the time I saw the good doctor last week, alas, I am stuck right where I was. But still, being half the woman I once was isn't too damn shabby, yanno?


I didn't post on my birthday, but I probably should have. Turning 40 is/was fairly painless. Got to admit that being 150-153 pounds lighter made the actual milestone A LOT easier to both reach and deal with. The party G threw for me was absolutely AWESOME! We had about half the crowd we'd hoped to have, but that was ok. If everyone had shown up, I don't know where we'd have put them all. It was just the right-sized crowd. But for all you who missed my party, Pfffft on you! LOL Seriously, I missed you all and wish you could have been there. It was SO wonderful to have family and great old friends there. I was especially gratified to see all my old RTI buddies Melody, Donna and her husband Bryan, Karen and her husband Bill, and especially my old friend Ken Ritchie, who I hadn't seen in a coon's age! And he drove over 100 miles to be here to see me! That just made my night! More than he can ever know! The jambalaya was great, and the day turned out to be relatively nice considering this was the coldest NC winter since 1978. I love being a February baby, but honestly, the weather always sucks for a party. Oh yeah, and my friend Susan made this deliciously sinful chocolate dessert that had Kahlua in it. We ALL ate way too much of that! Lord, the gas was worth it.


Second, last Thursday we drove down to Georgia so that I could see Dr. Smith on Friday morning for my 1-year followup visit. I met a wonderfully sweet little lady named Dianne who is a Dr. S patient who lives down there. I plan to keep in touch with her if I can - what a real Southern Belle. Now, while I was filling out the paperwork, Dee (Dr. S's Bariatric Coordinator) came out in the waiting room to speak to Dianne and when she turned to leave, I spoke to her. She totally didn't recognize me! Hehehe, that was fun! I got to give her crap about not kn0wing me and she told me how wonderful - and DIFFERENT - I look. Made me feel good.


Seeing the good doc was a great visit. I watched a video had has put together about living with the weight loss long term. I got a good handout that I think will be a good resource also. I forgot that I was going to have to justify why I had increased my vitamin A, E, and K intake. But I showed him my labs from 6 mo. and 1 yr., and he agreed that I was doing the right thing. (He later conceded that he would MUCH rather have a motivated patient like me who keeps track of her labs and adjusts accordingly than to have someone he has to convince to up vitamin intake. And for that reason he said he felt that long-term I would continue to be very successful - but more on that later.) We talked about reaching goal weight, and I reminded him that I had reached HIS goal but that I really wanted to see 140-something on the scale to feel like a success. And then we got into a discussion of BMI (and what an imperfect number it is), of % body fat and how mine is changing and will continue the more we run and train for the next 10K and half marathon), and the excess skin issues I will continue to have unless I have plastic surgery. I showed the good doc my biceps and he was impressed! And then he said, "Oh yeah, you've been working out the whole time! I forgot." So all in all, I feel a little bit better about where I am. I still want to lose 15 more pounds, but I am coming to terms with that fact that 1) I may not get there without plastic surgery, and 2) if I don't, I'm STILL a raging success. He was impressed with my motivation and said that he feels that long-term I will keep the weight off because I know what I need to do and I do it (e.g., vitamins). I do plan to have plastic surgery when I can afford it; but for right now, I am content to see the weight drop in itty bitty increments. As long as I can continue to exercise without pain, I am really good with that. He said that in his practice he has seen those who lose as fast as I did stop early. He said it's not absolute but that his patients that lose >90% excess weight in 1 year tend to not get to 100% without help (i.e., plastics). So I'm ok with that. Losing >92% EW in 1 year is a tremendous accomplishment and I am learning to not beat myself for not reaching that last 7%. It's just the perfectionist in me I guess.


So when I left his office, he gave me a fist bump on the arm and said he was really really proud of my accomplishment and that he thought I had done wonderfully. THAT really made my day! I wanted to scoop him up and kiss him! I do love that cute little man! He saved my life, and once you become bonded to someone like that, it really does change your life. Hey, he's seen my guts, for crying out loud! I'll see him again in a year, and I'm looking forward to it! I hope to have that 10K (G and I want to run the Crescent City Classic in NOLA) under my belt by then or maybe some other 5Ks.


And you know what the best part of life with a DS is? After we left his office, I went to Starbucks and had coffee with Karlene, the wonderful angel who helped me fight the evil BCBS and win. It was so good to see her! But then, G and I went to do some geocaching at a place in Kennesaw, GA, at a restaurant of all places. They host a geocache called the "Kennesaw Travel Bug Motel" (see below).





Naturally we wanted to see this place. It's called Big Pie in the Sky. If you're ever in Kennesaw, GA, you HAVE to check this place out. They boast slices of pizza as big as your head, and they ain't lying!! So look at the slice I had for lunch. Yeah, that's a pizza pan they serve it on!




You can't tell me that the DS isn't the very best damn surgery around!! And I know you're wondering, so the answer is Yes, I ate it all, BUT it took me 3 different sittings in which to accomplish the feat. I had pepperoni and bacon. Get this! Their lunch special is a slice and a drink for $5! So G and I ate lunch for $10 and change. He, on the other hand, ate the whole stinkin' piece at one sitting and I had to laugh at him later when he was moaning about how his belly hurt.



Seriously, do check out their website. Apparently, they're famous for their "Carnivore Challenge" in which 2 people eat one of their 30" pizzas that is loaded with all the meats they have. The pizza weighs 11 pounds, and costs $50. If you eat it all (they give you 2 hours to eat it I think), they give you $250. Man Vs. Food from the Travel Channel has come there for the Challenge, and some of the locals were telling us about it. Oh, and the place was PACKED - it was around 1-ish on a beautiful Friday afternoon - sunny and in the upper 60s. We overheard the folks at the next table saying that they came all the way from Florida for the husband to try the pizza since he'd seen it on Man vs. Food.


Needless to say, we WILL go back there whenever we go to Kennesaw, or anywhere even remotely near Kennesaw! Oh, and it's the bast damn pizza I ever ate! No kidding.


Here's Gerald eating his slice with Italian sausage and mushrooms. It was tasty, too!


So what does a girl do to work off the calories of that much pizza? Go shopping, of course! I scored at the Goodwill in Kennesaw on Cobb Parkway over by the McCollum Airport. I bought my very first ever size 6 skirt and I can wear it without having to have a "body shaper". Woo Hoo!!!! Got some really cute stuff for the spring/summer and even got my Easter outfit there - a gorgeous floral Talbots skirt with a pink surplice Ann Taylor Loft top.


Life is good. And despite continued unemployment, I am determined to savor every moment!

MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR MILESTONE: I'm HALF the woman I used to be!

Wow, I can't believe it's been since November since I posted. Time flies when you're out living life. Geez! And honestly, the holidays were crazy - I was a scrooge until we got the house decorated, knew the job was ending after Christmas, more than a little stressed, yanno?

Then there were hormonal issues that I had to deal with dating back to November - the joy of being a woman I suppose. The hormones I was taking stopped my weight loss dead in its tracks. I was stuck at 167 for what seemed like forever. But... 167 was my doctor's goal weight for me, which represented an 85% excess weight loss. And for all intents and purposes, would have been the definition of success. But you know me. I'm not satisfied until I've done this thing my way. (Oh great, now I have Frankie singing in my head... dang! But I digress....) While this stall from hell was here, I kept taking measurements and checking to be sure I wasn't blowing back up like a balloon. And I wasn't, thank God. I'll admit it bothered me. But not enough to drive me completely crazy. I kept reminding myself that I have another 6 months to a year in which I can lose weight before the proverbial window closes. I kept doing what I was supposed to be doing and checking in with my awesome support group (you know who you are - and you ROCK!).

So in January, I started back to the gym a little more faithfully. I've managed to squeeze in 2 days a week so far, but classes are nuts this semester and I'm SO focused on getting done and getting a job. So yeah, I can get more than a little obsessed. (OCD much? Nah, just a little.) Anyway, I started to see the scale move ever so slightly. That was encouraging. I've kept with the high protein, and tried to watch the carbs, especially the simple ones. I did lose a terrible fight with brussel sprouts last Saturday night that resulted in them being on my banned foods list right behind spaghetti. I'll spare you the details, but it was UG-LY.

So the weight report: Last Saturday I weighed 159. I was excited because I finally broke into the 150s! Woo Hoo! Then I weighed on Wednesday and was down to 157. More excitement because I could then proclaim that in just 5 pounds, I would be half the woman I once was. Well friends, from Wednesday to yesterday morning, I lost 5 freakin' pounds! Actually 5 and a half. So you know what that means?!?!?! I AM HALF THE WOMAN I USED TO BE!!! Actually, I'm a half pound less than half, but who's counting? hehe So today, I weigh 152 pounds and I have lost 153 pounds. I have lost a whole other me! Oh. My. God. It is still so surreal that I have a hard time wrapping my head around it.

This does give me hope that I might be really close to my goal weight by the time my birthday - my 40th birthday (Yikes) - rolls around on February 24th. I had begun to let go of that dream. But now it seems achievable. If it happens - great. If not, I know that it will soon thereafter. Either way, I'm letting my DS drive. Which is another great accomplishment for a control freak like me.

Happy New Year?!?!?! Indeed.

More Photowhoring....

One of the things I do look forward to doing once my job ends is having time to sew more. I recently did some sewing. It sort of happened by accident. I know, that sounds crazy. How do you sew "by accident"? Well, it all started when I went to Hancock Fabrics to get some ribbon for a baby blanket I had knit for a pregnant friend/co-worker. I happened to be wandering around and lusting after all the fabrics when I ran across some denim. And it was on sale. I thought I could find a cute skirt pattern to make to wear with my new boots. But instead I found a cute dress pattern. So I bought the pattern and the material. The denim was on sale, and the whole dress cost me around $25, including thread and other notions. Cool, huh? I mean, sure I could have gotten a dress from Goodwill or the Durham Rescue Mission Thrift Store for something like $4, but I have a brand new dress for $25 and unless some other soul happens to pick the same pattern and the very same fabric, I have a one-of-a-kind dress! So here it is. I wore it to church the other Sunday and made Gerald take pictures of me before I took it off.

I love the dress so much, I bought some corduroy to make another one soon!

And then some bad news.....

It seems that for every plus, there's a minus... for every up, there's a down. Well, for the second (or third, depending on how you count it) time this year, I am being laid off from a job. Yep, you heard it correctly, my friends. The word came down today.

How can that happen, you ask? It's because of the Merck/Schering-Plough merger. I don't know how many I explained this to, but here it is in a nutshell. I work for ClinForce as a contractor for SP doing clinical data indexing. Because of the merger, the whole SP ClinDoc unit is being let go. That includes some really fine folks I met up in New Jersey. There had been a lot of worry up there, and I suppose rightfully so. I was told that of the 2, SP has the more sophisticated clinical documentation department. Merck just farms theirs out. Because Merck is holding the upper hand here, they call the shots and we're all unemployed as of 12/31/09. That's a total of 15 folks here in NC and about 60 or so up in NJ. Of course, that's a small part of SP folks that will eventually be let go, no doubt.

I have some prospects, and I am tentatively developing a plan. I have to believe that God is in control here and He knows what He's doing. I just have to trust and be attentive to hear Him. The job at ClinForce was ideal because I am getting ready to do an internship in Spring semester that I am hopeful will lead to a permanent clinical position, ideally as a CRA. That's out the window now, but worst case scenario (or maybe best case) is I draw unemployment while I do the internship and then try my best to get a full-time clinical job. I hate to be this mysterious and secretive, but I honestly believe that sometimes there are forces that work against you if you reveal too much too soon.

All I ask is that you all pray for the best, especially in regards to the outcome of the pending sale of the house. Having that cushion will be a true blessing.

Tentative good news.....

Just a quick post. I have an offer on the house in Oxford - one that I can live with at least (and in this economy, that's a really good thing). Signed the contract on Monday. Scheduled to close on Nov. 30th. It sure would be a nice Christmas present. So cross your fingers, pray, do whatever it is you do.... I sure could use this turn of good fortune. It will allow me to be able to complete an internship in the Spring semester without having to sweat the lost wages so much. And I hope the internship will lead to a permanent clinical job. I sure plan it that way!

Just one more thing I'm thankful for......

Wanna See Something Shocking?!?

I can't believe how times flies between my posts, but such is my crazy life. And sometimes I hate to bore the rest of the world with what sometimes seems like minor changes. So I'd rather save it for the major stuff. And boy is it major these days!

To begin with, let me tell you a little story. Back in the Spring of 2007 I think it was, Gerald and I decided to go hiking one sunny afternoon. We decided to start at Highway 50 at Falls Lake and hike through the trails - it's part of the Mountains to the Sea Trail - over to Highway 98. So we left a car, had enough food and water, etc., etc. Mind you, this hike according to Gerald was to be about 2-3 miles. I thought, "No sweat. I got this." As it turns out, the hike was more like 8 MILES! But the thing that struck me the most was that I was about to die about 2 miles into this thing. Granted, at some point I realized that the 2 miles was buffoonery and we were going much farther than that, but at most I thought maybe 5. That aside though, I was pretty darn surprised at how hard that hike was on me. The trail was not rough really - no more so than others locally. There weren't steep inclines or declines. Just regular trail. You know. Once we got to the car, I could hardly keep going. But later, boy did I pay for that hike. I was in so much pain and I could hardly move the next day! I know I was morbidly obese, but I was in shape for a fat girl.

Fast forward to this past weekend. On Sunday, Gerald and I decided to hike Penny's Bend Nature Preserve out by our house. Can I say how COOL it is that we have trails so close to our house? If you've never hiked Penny's Bend, you should - this time of year it is so beautiful walking beside the Eno River among beautiful fall leaves. At times, truly breathtaking. Penny's Bend is owned and maintained by UNC. If you're interested, go here: Penny's Bend. It was a 2.25 mile hike round trip, and we threw in a little geocaching for good measure. And I hate to admit to the World Wide Web - probably because I'm the last to realize this - but I am a geek. I actually like geocaching though I have been adamant to Gerald that I wouldn't. Ok, so I'm a geek. A geek who according to some (I don't know the source) said, "I use a multi-billion dollar global satellite system to hunt for Tupperware in the woods." Most appropriate, but WAY more fun! We found 3 caches at Penny's Bend. Here I am with the swag from the cache that I actually found. (Gerald always beats me to them!)

And the other thing about this trip was that the hike was nothing! Let me say it again. No-thing. Didn't phase me at all. I didn't get winded, my feet didn't hurt, etc., etc., etc. I was amazed at how easy it was in the grand scheme of things. I did have a little soreness late that night when I went to bed, but by the morning I felt fine and was ready to go.

And then I saw the picture Gerald took of me and thought, "Wow, that doesn't suck." So now I'm afraid I may turn into a camera whore. I'm actually ok with that. So when we got home, I decided to try on some smaller jeans since one picture Gerald took of me hiking shows that the legs of my size 12 jeans looked baggy. Hard to fathom, but there it was in digital image technicolor. Who knew? Even though my hair looked atrocious and I had it pinned back from the hike, I still tried on those jeans. Can you say - Size 10, Babee!!!!! Holy crap! I couldn't believe it either! So here we have it - living proof. And just for comparison, I am including a composite picture of me from pre-op/25 days post-op. The comparison blows my mind. Seriously, I had shied away from having pictures of me taken during the last few months, and now I don't hate them anymore!

This is me pre-op and 25 days post-op. Already a world of difference. But no way did I dream of what was to come....

It is SO hard for me to believe that is the same woman in those before and after pictures. And look, I grew collarbones! I knew I had arrived when I could see those!

This new life STILL blows my mind. WLS saved my life. Specifically, Dr. Dennis Smith (I love that man!) and the Duodenal Switch saved my life - And it gave me a better one!

Oh yeah, and I'm only 4 pounds from my doctor's goal weight for me. Tomorrow will be my 9 month post-op anniversary. I can't think of a better way to have spent the last 9 months of my life. And I'm not done losing. I know Size 8s are in my future, but if I never lost another pound, I'd be so thankful I had the duodenal switch. My journey has been relatively easy compared to some, and it sure as hell beats the prison of obesity I lived in for more years that I care to count.

Sure puts a whole new meaning on Thanksgiving for me this year. Tell me, what are YOU thankful for?

OMG! What a weekend!

Well, I didn't exactly make it a week of posts last week, but I am being more consistent here at least. I hate to bore everyone when I have nothing useful to say. I know some of you are probably wondering why I talk at all then! LOL

So one thing I have been trying to focus more on is quality of life goals - focusing on those things that I used to be able to do that morbid obesity took from me. The premise being that I can take my mind off the scale and the lack of movement there. Seriously. Been stuck there for 3 weeks now, and even gained 2 pounds last week. But that's what I get for eating Thai, Korean, and Chinese all in a span of 4 days. Lesson learned.

But that list consists of such things as riding a roller coaster again.... of going sky-diving.... of water skiing again.... of learning to scuba dive.... things such as these. Think of it as sort of pseudo-Bucket List. Things such as these are what WLS folks call non-scale victories. Wearing a smaller size of clothing is just icing on the cake. I already wrote about kicking the last of the BP meds last week. This weekend, I was able to check one of those items off my list.

Yes, that's right boys and girls, I water-skied. For the first time in almost 20 years I was able to get up on a pair of water skis. In fact, I was able to get up on the first try, and I stayed up until I told David to drop me by the shoreline. (BTW, a big shout-out to David Hall - he is a co-worker and friend of my brother-in-law, Todd. Now I can say that both David and his lovely fiancee' Heather as well as his parents are now friends of mine and Gerald. Wonderful, generous, sweet people.) And David knows how to pull folks on skis. He was completely calm and reassuring so I didn't have any fear of falling and embarrassing myself. If I fell, so what? I'd try again. But I didn't. David and Heather as spotter let me know when I was coming into some choppy water so I was able to keep my knees bent properly. I could go on and on.....

But the most important part of this whole story is that I felt FREE. Free from the bonds of morbid obesity and the ravages it had on my body. Free to do anything I want. Free to live my life to the fullest! I can't describe the feeling. I got a little teary-eyed then, and even now when I think about it. If you've never lived with the daily pain of morbid obesity and the toll it takes on your body, count yourself very fortunate indeed. And for any folks out there who may be reading this, especially those of you who don't know me personally, if you are living in that prison, let me say it again, you can be free, too!

Words can't describe how good it felt yesterday to move my arms and feel the soreness in my shoulders. Yes, it felt good! I hate we don't have pictures to share, but we will, next time! Yes, there WILL be a next time! But there is no way that next time will feel half as good as realizing a personal victory such as this.

Hope you have a great week! Go out and have your own personal victory, whatever form it takes. Now that's living.........

What? 2 posts in 2 days?!?!?!

A few weeks ago, I was having bouts of dizziness, especially when I stood up or sat up. I remembered (thankfully) that the cardiologist that cleared me for surgery said to watch for those symptoms when it became time to get off the Norvasc. I was placed on it several years ago because I was always having tachycardia. Stressed much? And not just from carrying around an extra 170 pounds.....

I went to see my PCP's PA, and she did some orthostatic BP measurements sp see what was going on. I was certainly symptomatic. She did a test run to see if I could come off the Norvasc. I went back a week later, and lo and behold, I can finally completely kick the BP meds. That was the last one since I came off the other one that day of surgery. I really am excited!! My BP was 112/68 the last time I took it. And to think that 6 short months ago, my BP was constantly around 150/90, and was becoming more and more uncontrollable. The cardiologist even mentioned increasing my dose of Norvasc before surgery, though that was not necessary as it turns out.

So I really am excited about the quality of life improvements that I have now. I can sit on the couch and bend over until my chest touches my knees and tie my shoes while still continuing to breathe normally. I can do the same while painting my toes. I can get down in the floor and get right back up with ease. No grunting or feeling like my knees are going to explode. Heck, the other day I squatted down in Mom's yard and stayed like that for a minute or so while I tried to get her neurotic dog to stop barking. Not only would I have not done that before surgery, if I had, I'd have not been able to stay like that more than a few seconds.

Now that the scale seems to move a little slower, I'm doing a couple of things to keep my head sane. First, I'm staying off the scales. Second, I'm trying to focus on those QoL improvements that give me non-scale victories. And I'm staying accountable with my eating - protein first! We haven't started our running program yet, but I am hopeful that my back will calm down enough that I can try it in the next few days. I have an appt to see the spine doc in September, but may get in sooner if it continues to bother me. I'm basically having sharp, shooting pains down my left leg and in my lower left back. They come and go very quickly, but it paralyzes me while it's happening. I think I may need to have it injected again. But, the one thing I am doing is reading a book called ChiRunning by Danny Dreyer. And out of that, I have come to realize that Tai Chi can help me gain core strength, flexibility and relax all at the same time. So to that end, G and I are going to start going to some Tai Chi classes at the downtown Y starting tomorrow night. I'm pretty excited about it. I'm just anxious to get back out and do some running since I can't help but think it will feel a lot different now that I've lost a whole Paris Hilton.

So that's where my head, and weight, is now. I am doing well, felling really good most days. I still struggle with eating too fast, and it still hurts when I do. But oddly, I am glad it still works that way, and I hope and pray it always will. Lots of folks tell me I'm looking younger, but at the same time are wary I'll be offended. No way will I ever get upset to hear I look younger! It'd be different if I didn't go into it knowing I made a drastic life change, yanno? Heck, I even had some young hottie say hello the other day in the produce section of the Harris Teeter. That was exciting and scary on SO many levels! LOL Ya'll know what I'm talking about!

Well, tomorrow, in my plan to keep up with posting daily, I will tell you all about losing my hair. Seriously, what's up with that crazy do in the picture Sunday night? I just don't know what to do with it now..... I'm open to suggestions!

I know I'm slack, so gimme some slack, OK?

Howdy! I have been so crazy busy each day here at work, and then I go home and it seems the list of stuff to do grows each day I'm not there to work on it. It's crazy! But we wanted a new house, and we totally love our new house! I'm still working on the studio, but I had to fight the wasps for territory this past Saturday. They built a nest in the window where we have the A/C unit. Not fun. But I did find out that Raid really will shoot their asses from 20 feet away!

G is working on the yard and garden like a madman. We have peas and green beans sprouting. He also planted some lettuce but he accidentally killed the seedlings last week when he left the top on the little seed starter. It cooked them. But we have more seeds so we're starting again. We really do need to take more pictures of the yard and house to document the transformation. My crepe myrtles are finally blooming and that makes me happy as well. It's all a work in progress.

But speaking of transformations, I have been having a few. Got into a size 16 comfortably about 2 weeks ago. Was thrilled! That was until I got my ass into size 14 shorts yesterday. I was SO excited, I ran G down in the store and told him I was buying them just because I could wear them! Well, and I needed new shorts - the ones I was wearing were size 20 and were falling off me. I gave them to Mom when I got to her house. So then, I also have gotten to One-derland - that would finally be a weight that doesn't start with a 2, or a 3, for that matter. I can't believe it! I am posting a picture of me on the scales the day I got below 200 for the first time.







That was about 10 days ago. I've been kinda stuck around there since then, so I've been getting frustrated with that. I started to try to focus on non-scale victories though. So last night since I was feeling kinda full of myself after the size 14s, I decided to try on the one pair of stretch jeans I've been saving from my heaviest weight. So in the picture you will see I am standing in one leg of those jeans. Pretty unbelievable. I am going to keep them around and continue to try them again and again to see how easily I fit into that one leg. But I gotta tell you, I never thought I'd see that day! Oh, and I took measurements and totaled them. I've lost 11 inches off my hips, and 11.5 inches off my waist. From neck to ankles, if you add them all together, I've lost over 74 inches since I had surgery.

I'm still getting used to this new body. It seems surreal some days. And just like before, sometimes now it's hard for me to really "see" what I look like - the crepe-y skin on my arms or my thighs. But hey, it's better than being morbidly obese and dying slowly. And I keep telling myself that it sure as hell isn't anything that $5K and a scalpel can't cure!

More later, perhaps tomorrow. I've got more to report and I really need to go do some house work now. So check out this picture.....



What's up with the boobs yesterday? Geez, for a minute there it actually looked like I still have some.....

Holy Cow, has it been THAT long since I posted?

Sorry, folks. Life has really taken me for a ride these last few weeks. I started a new job with ClinForce as a clinical data indexer (while I am still looking for other clinical work), then Gerald and I found a house we absolutely love and we bought it! Buying was one thing, but moving has been a bear! You know, it's bad when you come to work on a Monday morning and your co-worker looks at you and says, "Gee, you look exhausted!" Nice to know I hide it well. Might be better if I actually had on some make-up. I always look dead when I don't wear mascara.

Anyway.... I am happy to report that last Friday the movers came and in 4 1/2 hours, they had all our stuff moved and in place. Wow. Best money I've spent the whole move. But also a big thanks to Stephen and Julia for helping us with a couple of truckloads of stuff from storage in Oxford and from the apartment yesterday. It was a HUGE help! Now to unpack and settle in....

In other news, I have almost reached another great big milestone in my weight loss. Granted, I have not stepped on the scale since last Wed. and I don't know when I will again - maybe this Wed. - but I have lost 90 pounds. I can't believe I am 10 pounds away from the Century Club. Wow. I find it hard to fathom 100 pounds lost. I feel kinda weird about that. I mean, I feel like I feel normal, yet I find it hard to believe. I know I still have to lose much more - about 70-75 pounds to get to my goal. I guess the only way to really describe it would be that it's kind of like an out-of-body experience. It almost seems impossible that I will ever actually reach my goal of 135-140, but yet I do continue to shrink.

I promise to be better at updating, though, and I will most definitely shout it from the rooftops when I've lost 100 pounds. After that, my next goals in order are:
- start a running program - 200 pounds is the magic number to start so I don't blow out my knees
- reach One-derland (a weight that starts with a "1") - 199 is a good place to start
- reach the weight I got down to as a young 20-something by starving - 175 pounds
- reach Dr. Smith's goal for me - his goal is 167 (that's only 48 pounds from now)
- reach my goal - the range is 135-140 (that's 75-80 pounds from now)

And somewhere in there I hope to be able to actually wear all the beautiful clothes Bonnie gave me. Some things I can wear now, but most things need a few more inches before they will fit and look good enough to wear out. Of course, if I will ever break down and buy some Spanx, I think they'll fit sooner. Foundation garments are a wonderful thing, girls!

Anyway, that's about it for now. I do look forward to having a series of parties and gatherings so folks can come see the house once I get things straight. I can't wait to start enjoying the screen porch - I love how it keeps the mosquitoes at bay! Plus, we have so many birds and a chipmunk named Gus!

New Measurements

Short post here since I'm at work.

I took my measurements this morning and I've lost another 17.75 inches since I last measured in March. How wild! I only lost 9 inches from Feb. to March, but from March to now, I lost twice that. It's quite funny to me how one month the inches don't go as much as in others. It's like little spurts of loss. Hey, I'll take it either way! I knew Gerald had said he could really tell it in my waist area. I lost 2 inches in my waist, 2 1/4 in my hips, and (BooHoo!) 4 inches in my bust! I knew the girls would go south at some point, and that point must be now!

In addition to my loss of inches, my weight loss for the month was 15 pounds. That's actually more than last month, and still right on track. I hope I can have one more good month like that. If I do, I'll be ecstatic! Mainly because it will mean that I am no longer morbidly obese according to a BMI chart! I actually will hit that mark in another 8 pounds! I can't wait!!!!

BTW, that's a grand total of 48.7 inches! I just can't wrap my mind around that.

More later when I have time!

3 month check up

We went down to Georgia last Thursday night after work. Managed to miss the nasty storms that rolled through Atlanta packing golf ball-sized hail though. Didn't get there until 2:00 a.m. Yowza! But the 4 hours sleep we did get were nice.

Went to Dr. Smith's office at 8:15 a.m. for my appt. with him, and then on to have blood drawn. I had wondered if I would weigh the same on his scales as on my own, so ours must be pretty close since I weighed a half pound less than the last time I weighed. I clocked in at 235.1 on the doc's scales. We talked about my vitamins and my diet. All doing pretty good with one notable exception. {Last Wednesday night I ate some barbecue and stew from Hog Heaven here in Durham. I ate too much and ate too fast. Once I took that last bite of stew, I knew it was not good and was way too late. Time I swallowed, I was running to the bathroom. And up it came. It was a horrid experience, but was nonetheless a very good teacher. Note to self: LISTEN to the dragon and what she tells you. Geesh! It took a good couple of days to get my insides to accommodate food again.}

Overall, I think Dr. Smith was really pleased with my progress. He whipped out the calculator and I knew what he was doing. He calculates that at 3 months post-op, I have lost 43.4% of my excess weight. Woo Hoo!!!! I am thrilled, and I even got a big ol' smile out of him (not an easy feat, I tell you)! He said it will probably slow down and I am prepared for that - of course I say that until it actually happens. I'm sure at that point I will panic. But, it does look like I have a decent chance at reaching goal, which for me is 135-140 pounds. That will put me at a normal BMI for a woman 5'3" tall. Of course, if I manage to gain the inch I lost while morbidly obese, that will be all the better. I don't care how tall I am, as long as I can run without pain so Gerald and I can run some half marathons together. I guess I'm just thrilled that Dr. Smith is so happy.

I got my blood drawn, and it will be a couple of weeks before I hear anything, I'm sure. He is going to make sure I get a copy of my results so I can track trends, and we will talk about tweaking my vitamins if I need to. He seems to think I might be ok since I started taking lots and lots right out of the gate. I knew I just didn't want to play catch up, especially with Vit. D and calcium. Not a good place to be.

Anyway, I have much more interesting stuff to talk about, but I also want to be able to post pictures, and I don't have them off the camera yet. I met one of my angelettes on Friday. Her name is Jill, and she is having surgery with Dr. Smith tomorrow, Wed., April 29th. I'll post our picture soon. I also met a great group of gals at IKEA on Saturday down in Atlanta that are all pre-op. I was able to answer some questions and generally reassure them that they will love their DS, too! And now, this coming weekend, I will be going to Leicester, NC (outside Asheville) to visit with my other angelette, Nancy. Her surgery will be with Dr. Smith on May 20th. I'm so excited for both Jill and Nancy! And hey, it makes me feel good to pay this wonderful new life forward. I might look a lot better, but you can't put a price tag on feeling like a million bucks!

I broke into the 230s!!!

Hot damn!!! I am SO excited. In just 2 more pounds, I will weigh the same as Gerald! Call that hitting my 1st goal. I can't wait!

Frankly, I had worried that I might have stalled because my cousin Stephen's birthday party was this weekend. We partied hard! I made coleslaw, baked beans with molasses in it (YUM!), and deviled eggs. I only made 72 deviled eggs, for cripe's sake! Of course, they are the perfect DS food! It was all so very good. And I was faithful to my DS in that I only ate protein and a little tiny bit of coleslaw and beans. I did eat about a teaspoon of butter cream icing off his birthday cake, but it was SO worth it! It was yummy. I also had one forkful of chocolate cupcake (from Costco). Both of the sweets passed the "bliss" test, so I was glad I ate them. (The "bliss" test is that I ask myself if eating this food will bring me bliss. If the answer is yes, then I have one bite. And that one bite is savored and enjoyed. Not a bad way to have goodies and not feel deprived, if you ask me.)

I am just so freakin' excited to be here, in the 230s. I can't believe that I have lost damn close to 70 pounds - 67 to be exact. It feels unreal. I even noticed yesterday that my black jeans that I got back into 20 pounds ago are loose on me! That seems totally unreal! I even wore a size 18 top yesterday and a size 18 blazer that I have not worn in years either! I am really trying to enjoy these clothes while I can. It will be interesting to take measurements this month (next week) to see how body shape is changing.

I'm really excited to be heading to Atlanta next Thursday so that I can see Dr. Smith next Friday. I am anxious to have my labs done so that I can track my vitamin levels. I started on 50K IU of dry D and 25K IU of dry A as soon as I got home and I am hopeful that my levels have stayed the same, if not, increased some. I think Dr. Smith will be pleased with my progress. According to my calculations, if my goal weight is 140, I have lost 41% of my excess weight. If I lose another 4 pounds next week, I will be at 43% excess weight lost by the time I see him. If I am to be on track to lose 100% of my weight, the general guidelines are to have lost 25% by 3 months, 50% by 6 months, and 80% by 1 year. If I can keep this pace up, I am actually on schedule to lose it all by my 1 year anniversary, probably more like by 9 months post-op. I do realize it will slow down, but I am working my butt off to make sure I keep my metabolism up by exercising and by keeping my carb intake low.

Now, if only I could eat a hamburger patty without it sitting like a ton of bricks in my belly.....

Oh, and if you're reading this Nancy (and Carla), when are you two hussies coming over here so Nan can raid my closet?!?! For Nan, I have linen. For you, Carla, I have wine and beer! Call me!!!

10 weeks ago today......

... I climbed up on a surgical table that would change my life. I can't believe it's been 10 weeks. I remember being in the very early stages of post-op life and only being able to drink those awful liquids and thinking I'd never make it to better days. Invariably, every one of my post-op friends swore to me it would get better and darned if it hasn't! Of course then I was cursing them under my breath... LOL. But the proof is in the pudding as they say. And this morning I had a cup of coffee with cream and Splenda, one egg over easy and 2 slices of bacon. Life is indeed very good. If it's remotely possible to love bacon more since surgery, I think I'm there.

So on to the numbers. As of this morning, I am down to 242.4, which is 52 pounds lost since surgery and a total of 63 pounds from my highest weight. I can't believe that in just 3 more pounds I will be in the 230s, something I haven't seen since 2001 when Karen and I ran the Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon. I was SO in shape then, but for the sake of my knees, I am refraining from running until I hit the 200 pounds mark. One of my 1st goals is to weigh less than Gerald. I will do that this month. I am only 8 pounds away from weighing the same as him. It's going to be a glorious day when I hit that mark! I did take measurements on the 24th of March and I lost an additional 9.125 inches, for a total loss of 30.875 inches.

I've gone from a 46DD bra down to a comfortable 42D. Clothing sizes are harder to pin down, but I think I've gone from a 24/26 down to a 20. I can wear some things that are 18s and others that are 22s. Levis, for example, must run small because I'm in 22 in those. But I'll take it. All I know is that I haven't been able to wear those jeans in YEARS (and heck, they're practically brand new)! I can wear plain old XL sweat pants - not 1X, there IS a distinction. I can wear 18 tops and thanks to the "girls", I do still have to have 1X in some tops. But hey, a little while ago, a 1X would have been a dream. One thing that does surprise me is that I am finding out how to buy clothes that are comfortable but that fit. I'm used to wearing clothes that look like a tent. But the other day I bought a cute printed knit top from TJ Maxx. It fits me without being too tight. I put it on last Saturday and Gerald said, "Damn Baby, you look hot!" Did I mention that I love that man?

So while I do long to see more changes faster, I can see the changes that have taken place. I do have to remind myself to look for them. I still wonder what I will look like when I reach goal weight. It boggles the mind. I hope I am lucky enough to see people that don't recognize me. That would be SO cool! This truly IS a gift and a journey. I am enjoying taking the scenic route, because so far, the scenery is really improving. I thank God each and every day for my life and the gift of having a healthier new me!

Now, if only I can get my friend Nancy to come raid my closet. There is a lot of beautiful linen here with her name ALL over it!

9 1/2 Weeks from surgery- if only I had (the hot) Mickey Rourke this long....

Wow, I knew it had been too long since I'd updated, but I had no idea it had been this long. Sorry about that to my friends and family who read to try and check in on me and how I'm doing. I will try to do better, promise.

So... I passed the month 2 mark. I lost a total of 14 pounds in month 2, but was disappointed with it because I wanted it to be more like 16 pounds by that point. And you may say, well, that only 2 pounds, but to me it might as well be 20. I know, the mind plays cruel tricks.....

Now here I sit at 9 1/2 weeks out (10 weeks on Wednesday) and I am down to 246. That's a total loss of 59 pounds, 48 since surgery. I have decided that I will change and only weigh once a week rather than twice a week as I had been doing because I can't stand the constant up and down. If it looks like that starts to drive me crazy, then I may go to weighing less frequently than that. I am trying to focus on getting in protein 1st and then indulging in some veggies. I have had a couple of days where I ate some bread and it did bother me, so I'm cutting it back out. I have stopped really measuring my food, but I think I need to get back in that habit as well. My eyes have always been larger than my tummy. But oddly enough, I got 3 Chicken Selects from McD's yesterday and I could only eat 1. I eventually ate the other 2, but it took me a couple more hours. So although I feel like at times that I eat too much, if I stop and think about it, I still consume WAAAAYYYY less than I used to. Again, cruel mind games. They say they operate on our guts, not our heads.

Gerald and I go to the gym at last 3 times a week, and more often than not, it's 4-5 times a week. I'm building muscle because I can see it and feel it, but I am experiencing a few problems as a consequence. I think that because my core isn't as strong as it could/should be, I am having some back issues. I have to remind myself that I still have a herniated disc in my lower back. Recently it has started to remind me that it's still there. No numbness or lasting pain, but at times I can be sitting still in a chair and have fleeting shooting pains run from my lower left back down my left leg and to my foot. For a few seconds, it hurts tremendously and feels slightly weak. But it always goes away. I asked the doc about it and she said that there's not much to do unless it goes numb again. Oh great. I suppose I'll just have to deal with it. But I did rest an extra day today and will go back to the gym tomorrow. I'm trying to be mindful of better posture as well. My Nanny would be so proud.....

As for the head issues, I'm going to a book discussion tomorrow night that is growing out of our monthly WLS support group locally. I'm the only DS-er in the group, but my head doesn't know the difference. We're going to be discussing and working through the book The Beck Diet Solution, written by Dr. Judith Beck. She doesn't target any specific diet, but rather the emotional/mental issues associated with weight loss, whatever the mode of achievement. I think it will be a really good exercise for me because I have been so focused on getting back to normal that now I need to find a new normal that is truly compatible with my new physiology and life.

Well, that's just a few of my many ramblings. I'm off to finish some housework. I weigh in on Wednesday, so I'll post an update then. I think, too, it will be time for another picture. I sure do hope I sprout some collarbones pretty soon!

Day late again! 7 weeks out

Yesterday was 7 week since surgery. I had a pretty busy day so I forgot to update my blog. Oops.

I weighed in yesterday morning at 252.2 pounds. That's 42 pounds since surgery and a total of 53 pounds lost. I am squarely in the part of losing where I can't really see the changes taking place. I'm sure that's probably because I do spend a fair amount of time in the mirror wondering when I'm going to sprout a collarbone or what I'm going to look like thin. I keep wondering how my face will change. It seems strange really.

One cool thing that happened yesterday though was that I went to a Meet-up last night in Raleigh about plastic surgery. Yes, I know it's early yet, but given the price tag I'm sure it's never too early to think about it and certainly not too early to start saving money for it. Geez, the cost!!!! Anyway, I digress.....

I walked in to the room and one of our male Meet-up members who used to be quite a big guy (and who looks great now!), walked up and said, "Wow, you look great! You're losing so fast!" I was so stunned, I didn't know what to say. I think I stammered out a "Thank you." At least I hope I did. I do remember asking if he really thought he could tell a pretty major difference. He swore he could tell.

So there you go. Changes. And I can't even really tell. I think I'm ready to be at the point where none of my clothes fit, but I have to remind myself daily that I didn't get fat in one day and I'm not going to get thin in one day either. And right now, it looks like I'm losing at about 4 pounds a week. I'll take it.

I'm going to sit on Gerald until he takes a picture today, and I have to do measurements as well. I'll post when I have all that info. Maybe he can do another morphing thing with my pre-op picture like the did with the one on Day 25. Maybe that will help me to see the changes.

Day Late - Weigh-in Wednesday 6 weeks

Yesterday was 6 full weeks since surgery. I weighed in at 256.4, 38 pounds less than the day of surgery and a total of 49 pounds from my highest weight. Physically, I feel good. I think I look better. We'll take measurements next week to see how much more I've lost in inches.

I'm WAY stressed these days, so eating is not the comfort it once was. It can't be. So I've cried, screamed, cursed, and just mainly been angry about the loss of my job. So in short, I'm having to deal with it instead of stuffing it down with food. I have no interest in eating because if I do and if I eat what I know would comfort me, it would hurt anyway.

I'll be ok. I just have to get through this, and the next few days will be the worst I guess. I'll be back with more positive news soon. Love to you all.

Discovering muscles

It sometimes amazes me at how much I actually don't mind... dare I even say, like.... going to the gym these days. I think part of it is how I know I am finally able to make progress instead of it constantly being an exercise in futility.

As of 2 weeks post-op, I was cleared to lift weights. I thought that was a little too soon, so I waited until week 4. Now that I'm almost 6 weeks out, I have really started to try to lift smart so I can see progress without building too much muscle. I need to tone. And, frankly, I am a little worried about having bat wings. My legs have always been kind of muscular, and certainly now are becoming more defined. But my arms are quite another sad, sad story. So I've been lifting weights, alternating between upper and lower body. Yesterday, Gerald said he could feel the muscles in my shoulders. I didn't believe him until he showed me. LOL And even then, it sure was a foreign feel to my fingers. Another interesting thing I discovered this morning was soreness in my inner thighs. Yesterday was a lower body workout day and I did the adductor/abductor machine with increasing weights with each set. It's a technique described in Body-for-LIFE. This morning when I went to get out of my chair at work, I noticed I was sore, and it came as a surprise. It's not the kind of soreness where I was in pain, but the good kind where I could feel it and be mindful that I had exercised.

All this really does surprise and amaze me. I can't wait to be down to 200 pounds! Because that's my goal for starting to run again. I ran the half marathon in 2001 and weighed 230 when I did. I want to be able to start out running at a lower weight than I've seen in the last 20 years and then go from there. I remember what it felt like to be that fit and I so desperately want to get back to that feeling. There was nothing in this world like it. And maybe one day I'll be fast enough to run with the likes of my friends Donna or Sherry.

Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

Weigh-in Wednesday - 5 weeks out!

Not much to report here today. I weighed in this morning and I am down to 260.4. So that's -34 pounds since surgery and a total of 45 pounds over all. I'm kind of in a weird place right now. Everything I have either fits again or is way too big. But the next size down is not necessarily the right fit. So I guess I'm in between. It's strange, but I'll take it.

I suppose one exception to this rule is that I have a pair of stretch jeans in black from several years ago that I had taken in on the sides. They were originally size 20, but I'm guessing I got them down to near an 18. I wore them to work today. In fact, I had the 2nd part of my internal interview with our VP and I was sweating over it. I wore the top to my black linen suit that I wore last week. I took the skirt and was going to change into that to go meet with Ben. But Steph assured me I looked fine the way I was. So off I went in black top, black jeans and my kickin' black boots. I wore my awesome silver jewelry that everybody loves. I felt good. And confident. And isn't that what one needs to feel like when on an interview?

The meeting with Ben was easy and more like a really pleasant conversation. I enjoyed speaking to him. I thanked him for seeing me. And tomorrow I will send him a warm thank you note to follow up. Officially, decisions will be made and we'll be notified by the middle of next week. So, my friends, say a few more prayers..... I'll keep you posted!

Yesterday was my 1 mo. Surgiversary!

"Surgiversary" is what we call an anniversary in WLS terms. I woke up to a good ol' DS cleaning out, and weighed. A friend of mine from the DS board says we should weigh first thing in the morning, post DS poop, while naked, dehydrated and exhaling. So that's what I did. I weighed in at 262, so that's exactly 32 pounds since surgery, for a total of 43 pounds over all.

It's been a pretty quiet weekend. We went to mom's yesterday and that was nice, well, except for the rain and cold and general yuckiness of the weather. I took her some clothes that I'd gotten from a clothing swap that are not my style. Mom really appreciated them! We also stopped by and saw Adrianne and Todd yesterday. Just hung around and BS-ed for a while.

Today I didn't feel very good. Nothing bad, just not a lot of energy. So we've laid around all day except for the trip to the grocery store. I've been wrapped up in my Snuggie that Mom gave me for my birthday and another blanket. Did I mention that I am constantly cold since surgery? Geez! I've never known anything like this! Gerald also built a fire in the fireplace and it was nice. I could tell when it went out. I really do long for one of those days when it's sunny and 90 degrees and I can go lay in the sun by the pool and get warm! Kinda like a blue-tailed skink on the concrete sidewalk.

And since it's so gross outside, the least it could do is SNOW! I'd love to see one more before winter is gone. I hope we wake up to one in the morning.