MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR MILESTONE: I'm HALF the woman I used to be!

Wow, I can't believe it's been since November since I posted. Time flies when you're out living life. Geez! And honestly, the holidays were crazy - I was a scrooge until we got the house decorated, knew the job was ending after Christmas, more than a little stressed, yanno?

Then there were hormonal issues that I had to deal with dating back to November - the joy of being a woman I suppose. The hormones I was taking stopped my weight loss dead in its tracks. I was stuck at 167 for what seemed like forever. But... 167 was my doctor's goal weight for me, which represented an 85% excess weight loss. And for all intents and purposes, would have been the definition of success. But you know me. I'm not satisfied until I've done this thing my way. (Oh great, now I have Frankie singing in my head... dang! But I digress....) While this stall from hell was here, I kept taking measurements and checking to be sure I wasn't blowing back up like a balloon. And I wasn't, thank God. I'll admit it bothered me. But not enough to drive me completely crazy. I kept reminding myself that I have another 6 months to a year in which I can lose weight before the proverbial window closes. I kept doing what I was supposed to be doing and checking in with my awesome support group (you know who you are - and you ROCK!).

So in January, I started back to the gym a little more faithfully. I've managed to squeeze in 2 days a week so far, but classes are nuts this semester and I'm SO focused on getting done and getting a job. So yeah, I can get more than a little obsessed. (OCD much? Nah, just a little.) Anyway, I started to see the scale move ever so slightly. That was encouraging. I've kept with the high protein, and tried to watch the carbs, especially the simple ones. I did lose a terrible fight with brussel sprouts last Saturday night that resulted in them being on my banned foods list right behind spaghetti. I'll spare you the details, but it was UG-LY.

So the weight report: Last Saturday I weighed 159. I was excited because I finally broke into the 150s! Woo Hoo! Then I weighed on Wednesday and was down to 157. More excitement because I could then proclaim that in just 5 pounds, I would be half the woman I once was. Well friends, from Wednesday to yesterday morning, I lost 5 freakin' pounds! Actually 5 and a half. So you know what that means?!?!?! I AM HALF THE WOMAN I USED TO BE!!! Actually, I'm a half pound less than half, but who's counting? hehe So today, I weigh 152 pounds and I have lost 153 pounds. I have lost a whole other me! Oh. My. God. It is still so surreal that I have a hard time wrapping my head around it.

This does give me hope that I might be really close to my goal weight by the time my birthday - my 40th birthday (Yikes) - rolls around on February 24th. I had begun to let go of that dream. But now it seems achievable. If it happens - great. If not, I know that it will soon thereafter. Either way, I'm letting my DS drive. Which is another great accomplishment for a control freak like me.

Happy New Year?!?!?! Indeed.

Wanna See Something Shocking?!?

I can't believe how times flies between my posts, but such is my crazy life. And sometimes I hate to bore the rest of the world with what sometimes seems like minor changes. So I'd rather save it for the major stuff. And boy is it major these days!

To begin with, let me tell you a little story. Back in the Spring of 2007 I think it was, Gerald and I decided to go hiking one sunny afternoon. We decided to start at Highway 50 at Falls Lake and hike through the trails - it's part of the Mountains to the Sea Trail - over to Highway 98. So we left a car, had enough food and water, etc., etc. Mind you, this hike according to Gerald was to be about 2-3 miles. I thought, "No sweat. I got this." As it turns out, the hike was more like 8 MILES! But the thing that struck me the most was that I was about to die about 2 miles into this thing. Granted, at some point I realized that the 2 miles was buffoonery and we were going much farther than that, but at most I thought maybe 5. That aside though, I was pretty darn surprised at how hard that hike was on me. The trail was not rough really - no more so than others locally. There weren't steep inclines or declines. Just regular trail. You know. Once we got to the car, I could hardly keep going. But later, boy did I pay for that hike. I was in so much pain and I could hardly move the next day! I know I was morbidly obese, but I was in shape for a fat girl.

Fast forward to this past weekend. On Sunday, Gerald and I decided to hike Penny's Bend Nature Preserve out by our house. Can I say how COOL it is that we have trails so close to our house? If you've never hiked Penny's Bend, you should - this time of year it is so beautiful walking beside the Eno River among beautiful fall leaves. At times, truly breathtaking. Penny's Bend is owned and maintained by UNC. If you're interested, go here: Penny's Bend. It was a 2.25 mile hike round trip, and we threw in a little geocaching for good measure. And I hate to admit to the World Wide Web - probably because I'm the last to realize this - but I am a geek. I actually like geocaching though I have been adamant to Gerald that I wouldn't. Ok, so I'm a geek. A geek who according to some (I don't know the source) said, "I use a multi-billion dollar global satellite system to hunt for Tupperware in the woods." Most appropriate, but WAY more fun! We found 3 caches at Penny's Bend. Here I am with the swag from the cache that I actually found. (Gerald always beats me to them!)

And the other thing about this trip was that the hike was nothing! Let me say it again. No-thing. Didn't phase me at all. I didn't get winded, my feet didn't hurt, etc., etc., etc. I was amazed at how easy it was in the grand scheme of things. I did have a little soreness late that night when I went to bed, but by the morning I felt fine and was ready to go.

And then I saw the picture Gerald took of me and thought, "Wow, that doesn't suck." So now I'm afraid I may turn into a camera whore. I'm actually ok with that. So when we got home, I decided to try on some smaller jeans since one picture Gerald took of me hiking shows that the legs of my size 12 jeans looked baggy. Hard to fathom, but there it was in digital image technicolor. Who knew? Even though my hair looked atrocious and I had it pinned back from the hike, I still tried on those jeans. Can you say - Size 10, Babee!!!!! Holy crap! I couldn't believe it either! So here we have it - living proof. And just for comparison, I am including a composite picture of me from pre-op/25 days post-op. The comparison blows my mind. Seriously, I had shied away from having pictures of me taken during the last few months, and now I don't hate them anymore!

This is me pre-op and 25 days post-op. Already a world of difference. But no way did I dream of what was to come....

It is SO hard for me to believe that is the same woman in those before and after pictures. And look, I grew collarbones! I knew I had arrived when I could see those!

This new life STILL blows my mind. WLS saved my life. Specifically, Dr. Dennis Smith (I love that man!) and the Duodenal Switch saved my life - And it gave me a better one!

Oh yeah, and I'm only 4 pounds from my doctor's goal weight for me. Tomorrow will be my 9 month post-op anniversary. I can't think of a better way to have spent the last 9 months of my life. And I'm not done losing. I know Size 8s are in my future, but if I never lost another pound, I'd be so thankful I had the duodenal switch. My journey has been relatively easy compared to some, and it sure as hell beats the prison of obesity I lived in for more years that I care to count.

Sure puts a whole new meaning on Thanksgiving for me this year. Tell me, what are YOU thankful for?

I know I'm slack, so gimme some slack, OK?

Howdy! I have been so crazy busy each day here at work, and then I go home and it seems the list of stuff to do grows each day I'm not there to work on it. It's crazy! But we wanted a new house, and we totally love our new house! I'm still working on the studio, but I had to fight the wasps for territory this past Saturday. They built a nest in the window where we have the A/C unit. Not fun. But I did find out that Raid really will shoot their asses from 20 feet away!

G is working on the yard and garden like a madman. We have peas and green beans sprouting. He also planted some lettuce but he accidentally killed the seedlings last week when he left the top on the little seed starter. It cooked them. But we have more seeds so we're starting again. We really do need to take more pictures of the yard and house to document the transformation. My crepe myrtles are finally blooming and that makes me happy as well. It's all a work in progress.

But speaking of transformations, I have been having a few. Got into a size 16 comfortably about 2 weeks ago. Was thrilled! That was until I got my ass into size 14 shorts yesterday. I was SO excited, I ran G down in the store and told him I was buying them just because I could wear them! Well, and I needed new shorts - the ones I was wearing were size 20 and were falling off me. I gave them to Mom when I got to her house. So then, I also have gotten to One-derland - that would finally be a weight that doesn't start with a 2, or a 3, for that matter. I can't believe it! I am posting a picture of me on the scales the day I got below 200 for the first time.







That was about 10 days ago. I've been kinda stuck around there since then, so I've been getting frustrated with that. I started to try to focus on non-scale victories though. So last night since I was feeling kinda full of myself after the size 14s, I decided to try on the one pair of stretch jeans I've been saving from my heaviest weight. So in the picture you will see I am standing in one leg of those jeans. Pretty unbelievable. I am going to keep them around and continue to try them again and again to see how easily I fit into that one leg. But I gotta tell you, I never thought I'd see that day! Oh, and I took measurements and totaled them. I've lost 11 inches off my hips, and 11.5 inches off my waist. From neck to ankles, if you add them all together, I've lost over 74 inches since I had surgery.

I'm still getting used to this new body. It seems surreal some days. And just like before, sometimes now it's hard for me to really "see" what I look like - the crepe-y skin on my arms or my thighs. But hey, it's better than being morbidly obese and dying slowly. And I keep telling myself that it sure as hell isn't anything that $5K and a scalpel can't cure!

More later, perhaps tomorrow. I've got more to report and I really need to go do some house work now. So check out this picture.....



What's up with the boobs yesterday? Geez, for a minute there it actually looked like I still have some.....

I broke into the 230s!!!

Hot damn!!! I am SO excited. In just 2 more pounds, I will weigh the same as Gerald! Call that hitting my 1st goal. I can't wait!

Frankly, I had worried that I might have stalled because my cousin Stephen's birthday party was this weekend. We partied hard! I made coleslaw, baked beans with molasses in it (YUM!), and deviled eggs. I only made 72 deviled eggs, for cripe's sake! Of course, they are the perfect DS food! It was all so very good. And I was faithful to my DS in that I only ate protein and a little tiny bit of coleslaw and beans. I did eat about a teaspoon of butter cream icing off his birthday cake, but it was SO worth it! It was yummy. I also had one forkful of chocolate cupcake (from Costco). Both of the sweets passed the "bliss" test, so I was glad I ate them. (The "bliss" test is that I ask myself if eating this food will bring me bliss. If the answer is yes, then I have one bite. And that one bite is savored and enjoyed. Not a bad way to have goodies and not feel deprived, if you ask me.)

I am just so freakin' excited to be here, in the 230s. I can't believe that I have lost damn close to 70 pounds - 67 to be exact. It feels unreal. I even noticed yesterday that my black jeans that I got back into 20 pounds ago are loose on me! That seems totally unreal! I even wore a size 18 top yesterday and a size 18 blazer that I have not worn in years either! I am really trying to enjoy these clothes while I can. It will be interesting to take measurements this month (next week) to see how body shape is changing.

I'm really excited to be heading to Atlanta next Thursday so that I can see Dr. Smith next Friday. I am anxious to have my labs done so that I can track my vitamin levels. I started on 50K IU of dry D and 25K IU of dry A as soon as I got home and I am hopeful that my levels have stayed the same, if not, increased some. I think Dr. Smith will be pleased with my progress. According to my calculations, if my goal weight is 140, I have lost 41% of my excess weight. If I lose another 4 pounds next week, I will be at 43% excess weight lost by the time I see him. If I am to be on track to lose 100% of my weight, the general guidelines are to have lost 25% by 3 months, 50% by 6 months, and 80% by 1 year. If I can keep this pace up, I am actually on schedule to lose it all by my 1 year anniversary, probably more like by 9 months post-op. I do realize it will slow down, but I am working my butt off to make sure I keep my metabolism up by exercising and by keeping my carb intake low.

Now, if only I could eat a hamburger patty without it sitting like a ton of bricks in my belly.....

Oh, and if you're reading this Nancy (and Carla), when are you two hussies coming over here so Nan can raid my closet?!?! For Nan, I have linen. For you, Carla, I have wine and beer! Call me!!!

Day Late - Weigh-in Wednesday 6 weeks

Yesterday was 6 full weeks since surgery. I weighed in at 256.4, 38 pounds less than the day of surgery and a total of 49 pounds from my highest weight. Physically, I feel good. I think I look better. We'll take measurements next week to see how much more I've lost in inches.

I'm WAY stressed these days, so eating is not the comfort it once was. It can't be. So I've cried, screamed, cursed, and just mainly been angry about the loss of my job. So in short, I'm having to deal with it instead of stuffing it down with food. I have no interest in eating because if I do and if I eat what I know would comfort me, it would hurt anyway.

I'll be ok. I just have to get through this, and the next few days will be the worst I guess. I'll be back with more positive news soon. Love to you all.

Day 25 - Minus 39 pounds!

Gerald was generous enough to take pictures today and do the pictorial montage you see below. It shows my pre-op picture and me today. I guess I don't smile very big, but maybe it will get better as I go. I'm certainly not frowning like I was pre-op though!

We also took measurements today. I know it's not my 1 month surgiversary yet, but my pre-op measurements were done on Jan. 19th. So these are about 1 month and 2 days out - especially since I'm guessing that my measurements didn't change appreciable before surgery. I've lost 21.75 inches since surgery! WOW. Although it seems like my rear end isn't budging, I am losing all over according to the tape measure. Most notably, I lost 1.25" from my neck, 2.5" from my chest, 1" from my bust (Yay - they're not leaving as fast as I had thought they might!), 3" from my waist, and 3.75" from my hips. I'm really glad to see the numbers.

But one thing that was cool was that today I wore a jacket to church that I hadn't had on in a couple of years. It was so tight across my boobs that it looked bad and it wouldn't even button over my hips at all. Well, today it fit and was so comfortable! It's wool, too, so it was nice and warm for church. Have I mentioned that I am constantly freezing all the time? That is REALLY a new one on me! Crazy, I tell ya!!

I will be weighing again on Wednesday since my "official" weigh day is Wednesdays. We'll see how much more I manage to lose before my 1 mo. check-up with Dr. Smith. My check-up with him will be Monday, March 3rd. Here's hoping he's pleased with my progress!

17 Days and counting....

First, let me apologize for the random order of my thoughts as I get this set up and get ready for surgery in just 17 short days. I find it completely incomprehensible that just 2 weeks ago, I was still wondering and waiting for the final word from BCBS of NC.

Now, for a little history...... I thought long and hard about WLS some 4-5 years ago. I had met several people who'd had Roux-en-Y gastric bypass and were doing quite well. At the time, I decided that I couldn't live without the ability to drink alcohol after asking some pointed questions about day-to-day life with that form of surgery. So back to Weight Watchers I went, and yet another attempt to lose more than 20 pounds. I battled it hard, and stayed at it for over 2 years in WW, only to lose a grand total of 29 pounds. I kept it off for a while, but it gradually crept back on.

Fast forward to Summer 2007. I saw an acquaintance at a cookout and she looked as if she had literally melted away! Bless her, Kris told me all I wanted to know and then some about this wonderful surgery of which I knew nothing - called the Duodenal Switch, or DS for short. Literally, I played 20 questions that turned into more like 200! And she was SO gracious to entertain all my stupid questions of minutiae. (Thank you, Kris, for changing my life!! I hope you one day know what an angel you have been!) I left there with the name of her surgeon and his web address. So the research and the journey began....

I started out with her surgeon, Dr. Hazem Elariny, in Vienna, VA. I really like Dr. Elariny, and he is a great surgeon. I just could not afford his fees, so I sought and found Dr. Dennis Smith, Jr. in Marietta, GA. I began with his office in March 2008, after waiting on a change of insurance at my old company and then a change of jobs to yet another insurance. I did all the required tests for both Dr. Smith and BCBS, and we filed for approval in early May. I was denied. Flat-out denied. I'll always remember standing in Logan Airport, getting the news and being so heartsick and yet livid at the same time. Oh no, the fight was on. They just didn't know I have the tenacity of a bulldog and was not about to give up and go away!

So I hired an ERISA appeals specialist who handled my appeals for me. Karlene Dittrich is an angel and a hellion all rolled into one!! I love her SO much, and I have never met her face-to-face. But you can bet that when I go to GA in 11 days, I will get to meet her and hug her neck!!! Karlene filed appeals and fought with insurance through 2 appeals. But her bigger job was to talk me down from the ledge as often as I'd climb up there! Which was often, let me tell you. She was the one person who told me time and again that "Patience and Persistence make you POWERFUL!" And now I'm a believer. For 2nd appeal, I got letters of support from my spine doc (I ruptured yet another lumbar disc in March 2008) and the PA of my orthopedic surgeon who scoped my right shoulder in October 2007. She filed that appeal the week before Christmas. I was sure it would be mid-January before I'd hear anything and that surely I would have to go before the grievance panel at BCBS to plead my case. So imagine my surprise when I got the approval letter in the mail on December 30th! It was approved on Christmas Eve, and once I stopped hyper-ventilating, screaming, and crying, I realized what a wonderful Christmas gift I had indeed been given.